last tuesday, june 29, bebe and i nursed for the last time. i'm sure that to many living in this country, where only 12% of babies are breastfed through their first six months of life, the thought of an almost-two-year-old still nursing seems strange. yet across the world today, the average age of weaning is 4 years. anthropologists posit that human children are designed to be breastfed for anywhere from 2.5 to 7 years.
the conservative american academy of pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed for a minimum of one year, and for as long thereafter as mutually desired, while the world health organization recommends that children be breastfed for a minimum of two years. the health benefits of nursing for both mother and child continue for as long as the nursing relationship lasts. breastfed children are sick less often than their non- (or no longer-) breastfed peers, and the duration of breastfeeding is linked to a reduction in the child's risk of developing diabetes and crohn's disease. duration of breastfeeding is also linked to a reduced risk of the nursing mother developing breast, ovarian, and endometrial cancers.
i don't say all this to disparage women who wean their children at or before their first birthdays -- whether and how long to breastfeed are personal choices and each woman has to make the choice that is best for herself and her family. i merely share the information here because i know that most people don't know these facts, and think that what's known as "extended" breastfeeding is weird, wrong, and somehow going to damage the child. in fact, there is no research to suggest that children who are nursed into and beyond toddlerhood have any more difficulty with social adjustment than their peers.
when i first found out i was pregnant, i felt open to the idea of nursing bebe through the pregnancy and then "tandem nursing" her and her sibling. for many families, this arrangement works well and helps the older child adjust to the presence of the new baby without feeling so displaced. in the absence of certain rare conditions, continuing to nurse a toddler through pregnancy is perfectly safe for both mother and fetus, and a woman's body will adjust to make as much milk as needed, so the baby will not go hungry.
as time went on, however, i came to the realization that weaning bebe was what felt best to me. it made me very sad to think of ending what has been such a sweet, cuddly, loving, easy part of our relationship, but the more i thought about it the more i felt that i wasn't going to be up to juggling the needs of a nursing newborn and a nursing toddler. most importantly, i felt that it's going to be important to preserve some space for my second child and me to have our own relationship. this baby will be coming into a family that already, happily, includes the presence of an older sister, and from day one bebe will be an important part of the new baby's life. yet nursing will give us a chance to bond, just the two of us, throughout the days and nights as we get to know each other and as our relationship grows.
i am so grateful that bebe's and my nursing relationship was so easy and joyful for us both, and that we had the chance to nurse for almost two years. since we've weaned, i actually haven't felt nearly as sad as i expected i would. cutting back our nursing sessions over the past few weeks allowed me to realize what a small part of our relationship nursing has become -- never unimportant, always loved by both of us, but as she has grown older we have found so many other ways of connecting. while the symbolism of this shift -- that she is growing up, growing older, growing ever more independent -- can tug at my heart, in the day-to-day-ness of our lives i still feel just as connected to her as i did before.
the conservative american academy of pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed for a minimum of one year, and for as long thereafter as mutually desired, while the world health organization recommends that children be breastfed for a minimum of two years. the health benefits of nursing for both mother and child continue for as long as the nursing relationship lasts. breastfed children are sick less often than their non- (or no longer-) breastfed peers, and the duration of breastfeeding is linked to a reduction in the child's risk of developing diabetes and crohn's disease. duration of breastfeeding is also linked to a reduced risk of the nursing mother developing breast, ovarian, and endometrial cancers.
i don't say all this to disparage women who wean their children at or before their first birthdays -- whether and how long to breastfeed are personal choices and each woman has to make the choice that is best for herself and her family. i merely share the information here because i know that most people don't know these facts, and think that what's known as "extended" breastfeeding is weird, wrong, and somehow going to damage the child. in fact, there is no research to suggest that children who are nursed into and beyond toddlerhood have any more difficulty with social adjustment than their peers.
when i first found out i was pregnant, i felt open to the idea of nursing bebe through the pregnancy and then "tandem nursing" her and her sibling. for many families, this arrangement works well and helps the older child adjust to the presence of the new baby without feeling so displaced. in the absence of certain rare conditions, continuing to nurse a toddler through pregnancy is perfectly safe for both mother and fetus, and a woman's body will adjust to make as much milk as needed, so the baby will not go hungry.
as time went on, however, i came to the realization that weaning bebe was what felt best to me. it made me very sad to think of ending what has been such a sweet, cuddly, loving, easy part of our relationship, but the more i thought about it the more i felt that i wasn't going to be up to juggling the needs of a nursing newborn and a nursing toddler. most importantly, i felt that it's going to be important to preserve some space for my second child and me to have our own relationship. this baby will be coming into a family that already, happily, includes the presence of an older sister, and from day one bebe will be an important part of the new baby's life. yet nursing will give us a chance to bond, just the two of us, throughout the days and nights as we get to know each other and as our relationship grows.
i am so grateful that bebe's and my nursing relationship was so easy and joyful for us both, and that we had the chance to nurse for almost two years. since we've weaned, i actually haven't felt nearly as sad as i expected i would. cutting back our nursing sessions over the past few weeks allowed me to realize what a small part of our relationship nursing has become -- never unimportant, always loved by both of us, but as she has grown older we have found so many other ways of connecting. while the symbolism of this shift -- that she is growing up, growing older, growing ever more independent -- can tug at my heart, in the day-to-day-ness of our lives i still feel just as connected to her as i did before.
1 comment:
I love the sweet baby nursing photos. I love the extended breastfeeding facts. On our dolphin cruise last month, the captain said that dolphins (who only reach 40 in captivity) nurse for 2 years even though they can hunt their own food.
I am sure your next nursin relationship will be every bit as wonderful.
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