how to unwrap a baby sausage

if you come upon a baby sausage in its defenseless state (say, having been laid on the bed to finish a nap that began while out for a walk in the babyhawk), approach with caution.

do not move too quickly, or you may startle your prey.

confirm that the baby is, in fact, asleep, before you begin the process of unwrapping the tasty treat.

slowly, carefully, unzip the outer casing.

again, working slowly and carefully, remove the legs. you may want to begin eating at this point, and while this is a perfectly normal reaction to the sight of chubby baby thighs enclosed in tight black leggings, try to restrain yourself. baby sausages are best enjoyed completely unwrapped.

using the utmost caution now, for you are so close to your delicious, mouth-watering goal, gently remove the arms. yes, the elbows beneath the sleeves have dimples in them, but don't think about that! you can't afford to --

oh no! your drool has woken the baby up. quickly, quickly, eat her up as fast as you can!

* * * * *

"mommy, you wouldn't really eat me up, would you?"

of course not, dearest. i've already had you in my tummy once, and that was not an experience i'd care to repeat.

"oh phew!"

i tell you though, people, it is HARD to resist the temptation to bite on her. look at how delicious she is!!!

_